project

I have another poster to work on, al-hamdu liLlah...
it's about how to give shahadah in 10 minutes, and so... i put something together, that i'm still working on... kind of just started with an idea, if anyone's interested in helping, that would be cool... or if anyone wants to comment on this layout, that would be nice too.. take care.

al-Hamdu liLlah

I keep staring at this picture. It's so beautiful. I have no clue what it says, but I know that when I look at it, I think of Jannah. It's such an amazing thought, to think that I may actually enter such a place... Allahu a`lam, but I sure do hope I make it there. The thing that really gets into the depths of my heart is to imagine that Jannah is more beautiful than this picture which has captured my attention. subHan Allah.

-smiles-

-smiles- barak Allahu fikum, wa iyyakum khayran. -smiles-

oh, and don't forget to say subHan Allah at the beautiful hala in the sky!!

al-Hamdu liLlah

-smiles- No worries, be happy.

al-Hamdu liLlah for everything.

For those who have a lot of grading or work to do, may Allah make it easy on you, and make you the best at what you do. Amin.

wa `alaykum al-salam.

Mayor of Utah! You Are Amazing!

i like this

subHan Allah

Narrated Anas: We used to offer the Jumua prayer early and then have the afternoon nap. (Book #13, Hadith #62)

found it...

^Malcolm_X:

If the "religious" claim of the zionists is true that they were to be led to the promised land by their messiah, and Israel's present occupation of Arab Palestine is the fulfillment of that prophesy: where is their messiah whom their prophets said would get the credit for leading them there? It was Ralph Bunche who "negotiated" the zionists into possession of Occupied Palestine! Is Ralph Bunche the messiah of zionism? If Ralph Bunche is not their messiah, and their messiah has not yet come, then what are they doing in Palestine ahead of their messiah? Did the zionists have the legal or moral right to invade Arab Palestine, uproot its Arab citizens from their homes and seize all Arab property for themselves just based on the "religious" claim that their forefathers lived there thousands of years ago? Only a thousand years ago the Moors lived in Spain. Would this give the Moors of today the legal and moral right to invade the Iberian Peninsula, drive out its Spanish citizens, and then set up a new Moroccan nations... where Spain used to be. as the European zionists have done to our Arab brothers and sisters in Palestine?...In short the zionist argument to justify Israel's present occupation of Arab Palestine has no intelligent or legal basis in history ... not even in their own religion. Where is their Messiah? zionism is an effectively organized world wide fascist system. Only through effective world wide organization will it be smashed. We have been separately fighting this beast. You get quality by critically organizing quantity, Thus the World-Wide African Anti-Zionist Front has already begun on a qualified footing, integrating our independent fighting forces into a unified command giving, us greater Strength ensuring devastating blows, making it easier to Smash zionism...

Excerpt from Founding Conference of WWAAZF, June 1991

yea..

by the way, this is the clip that made me say i want to do my salah in jannah... something about it was heavenly to me. Barak Allahu fihum:

Hospital

al-Hamdu liLlah this morning I woke up early to go to the teacher in service day. I feel so refreshed to be back, when I opened the door, I felt happiness. I almost went to tears, the colors in my classroom gave me a happy feeling.. bright greens, yellows, reds... -smiles- I noticed we had a project in which we used black paper and white crayons and... well, i took them down, anything that made me feel even slightly unhappy I made away with it!!! NO! This is going to be the happiest place on earth for these children, the safest place, the most amazing place, I want that! in sha' Allah... Please, if you are reading this, please make du`a' for me and my classroom, I want it to be an AMAZING place for these children. Ya Allah.

I went to a teacher's class, I missed her a lot, and she has her daughter in my classroom. She took me to the side and she wanted to thank me for what I have done for her daughter. Her face was bright and she said that her daughter was imitating me the whole Winter break. I was thinking to myself, I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. She said that when her other daughter was in first grade she hadn't learned so much. ya Allah, to a teacher, those are words of relief... "my child has learned so much." Ya Allah, I feel like crying, it makes the heart sink in, a teacher wants that so badly for a child, a teacher wants the child to "learn." ya Allah, al-Hamdu liLlah. Then more pressure, "you have to stay for next year, you have to." -sigh- I told her, I'm not interested in doing that. Then she said, "this is your skill, you're really good at this, if you do anything at all it has to be with teaching." ya Allah, I know I'm good at it, but it wears me out. We'll see what happens.

Thinking. I remember at the university there were occasions in which I had to teach the class a lesson. Well, in one class, the teacher said she would give extra credit if someone took a chapter and taught it to the class. I did it once, I went over the lesson in her office and then taught it, I had very positive feed back, then she asked if anyone else wanted to do another lesson.. no one raised their hand, I asked to do another lesson, she allowed it, and I did it. -smiles- Then in another class, I raised my hand to comment on something, and I felt that I had to teach it in order for the class to understand what I was talking about, so I asked to go on the board to explain better the teacher allowed me to do so and I broke it down. Afterwards, the teacher took me to the side and told me that I better go into teaching because she said, "you're a natural." There was a lot that happened that lead to this choice of becoming a teacher, a lot of positive feed back, and an inner desire to help others, and to see someone else grow and understand, it's so amazing to witness. May Allah accept. ... Anyways, what's all this about? Well, I'm just so sure this is what I want to do, and I do feel "good" at it, but I'm just not interested in all the fuzz around this career... subHan Allah, if I can just go in and teach without having to worry about so many other things. sigh, al-hamdu liLlah.

... anyways, I had to leave the school this morning early because i had to pick up some people in order to go to the hospital.

I was NOT expecting to see so many "babies" with cancer. -sigh- As I passed by the beds, I noticed all these children were just laying there, my heart... my heart, they should be playing... "playing." Be still my heart, be still. subHan Allah, when we gave the presents out and talked to them I felt my gratefulness to Allah heighten. Look at me, so free to walk around, so free to run around.. ya Allah. It's such a good reality check. I spoke with the lady for a long time about the children, and if the youth group and i could do more, sigh. She explained that the elderly patients with cancer are usually neglected, and a lot of the focus is on the children. She said, the children usually have family and siblings with them, and oftentimes the elderly are there alone. That's so heartaching!! ya Allah. So, I took her card, and in sha' Allah we should be arranging something for them too.

ya Allah, this reminds me of the nursing home I went to this Summer, I remember one lady holding my hand and saying, "I love you." ya Allah, it makes me wish I could do much more... I hope to, in sha' Allah. May Allah accept our efforts, may Allah accept them, there are so many people that need our help and i feel i'm doing so "little."... ya Allah, subHan Allah, may Allah forgive me, and everyone else who is not doing enough for those who could use our time around us. I mean, so often we sit at home and enjoy our time on the computer, or reading a book, when there's someone in a home that needs someone to talk to. Or, there is a child that wants someone to play with, or person that needs to be fed, or... subHan Allah, there's just a lot.

al-Hamdu liLlah for all that we have been given, and may Allah guide us and strengthen us to be active in our community, and to be amongst those who have earned His pleasure, not His wrath. Amin.

dream world

off to dream world... -smiles- take care, have fun, and play safe. -smiles-

Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim G. Ginott (my notes)

Chapter 1: The Code of Communication: Parent-Child Communication

• Children's Questions: The Hidden Meanings
• a child's questions reflect their insecurities, make them feel safe
  
• A child's "feelings" should be taken seriuosly even though the situation is not serious
• tool - reflect the feelings of the child
• When children feel understood, their lonliness and hurt diminish and love for their parents hightened. A parent's sympathy serves as emotional first aid.
• Neither accuse nor blame
• Don't say "Why are you angry?" it's better to say, "I see that you are angry."
• Acknowledge the child's feelings
• Most parents are unaware that it is futile to try to convince children that their complaints are unjustified, their perceptions erroneous. It only leads to arguments and angry feelings.
  
• Fruitless Dialogues: Preaching and Criticizing Create Distance and Resentment
• Conversations sound like two monologues, one consisting of criticism and instructions, the other of denials and pleading.
• it's not a lack of love, but a lack of respect, not a lack of intelligence, but in the lack of skills.
• we need to learn a caring way of conversing
• Communication for Connection: Respond to Children's Feelings Not Their Behavior
• Communication needs to be based on respect and on skill
• preserve the child's and parent's self respect
• statements of understanding precede statements of advice or instruction
• When children are in the midst of strong emotions they can't listen to anyone
• they want us to understand what is going on inside them, what is going on at that particular moment
  
• We phrase our words so that we understand what they have gone through:
• examples:
• "It must have been terribly embarrassing."
• "It must have made you furious."
• "You must have hated the teacher at that moment."
• "It must have hurt your feelings terribly."
• "It was a bad day for you."
• usually, disturbing "feelings" fuel misbehavior
• feelings must be dealt with before behavior can be improved
• unfortunately, we have not been brought up to share our feelings, we don't even know what or how we feel.
• parents should learn to hear the feelings of fear, despair, and helplessness that the angry outbursts hide.
• instead of reacting, parents should respond to the child's feelings and help them cope.
• when children feel right, then they can think clearly and act clearly
• strong feelings do not vanish by being banished
• Principles of Conversation: Understanding and Empathy
• Behind many childhood questions is the desire for reassurance.
• The best answer for such questions is the assurance of our abiding relationship.
• When a child comes home with a host of complaints about a friend or a teacher or about his life, it is best to respond to the feeling tone, instead of trying to ascertain facts or to verify incidents.
• It is a deep comfort to children to discover that their feelings are a normal part of the human experience.
  
• Responses to when a child says, "I'm not good at arthmetic."
• "Arithmetic is not an easy subject."
• "Some of the problems are very hard to figure out."
• "The teacher does not make it easier with his criticism."
• "Arithmetic makes you feel stupid."
• "I bet you can't wait for the hour to pass."
• "When it is over, you feel safer."
• "Exam time must be extra tough."
• "You must be worrying about what we will think."
• "you must be afraid we'll be disappointed in you."
• "We know some subjects are not easy."
• "We have faith that you'll do your best."
• When a child declares that he is stupid or ugly or bad nothing that we can say or do will change his self-image immediately.
• The best help we can offer is to show that we understand not only how this must make him feel, but its specific implications.
• Fish Swim, Birds Fly, and People Feel: Mixed Feelings and Mixed Messages
• Children love and resent us at the same time
• children need to know that ambivalent feelings are normal and natural
• We spare a child much guilt and anxiety by acknowledging and voicing those ambivalent feelings:
• "You seem to feel two ways about your teacher: You like her and dislike her."
• "You seem to have two feelings about your older brother: You admire him, but you resent him."
• "You have two thoughts on the subject: You would like to go to camp, but you also want to stay home."
• if mixed up feelings could be understood, they're not so mixed up
• where there is love, there is also some hate, where there is admiration there is also some envy, where there is devotion, there is also some hostility, where there is success, there is also apprehension.
  
• it takes great wisdom to realize that all feelings are legitimate: the positive, the negative, and the ambivalent.
• judgement of feelings and censure of fantasy would do violence both to personal freedom and to mental health
• it is more important for a child to know what she feels than why she feels it
• Mirroring Emotions: Reflecting Children's Feelings Helps Them to Understand How They Feel
• reflect feelings as they are, without distortion
• "it looks like you are very angry."
• "It sounds as if you hate him very much."
• "It seems as if you are disgusted with the whole situation."
• We should offer time and compassion
• As they "feel" peaceful, then the best solutions could be found

Chapter 2: The Power of Words: Better Ways to Encourage and Guide

• Isn't Praise Good for Children Anymore?
• Doing Something Well Does Not Turn You Into a Good Person
• Praise may result in tension and misbehavior
• Children need to be free from the pressure of evaluative praise so that others do not become their source of approval.
• When parents tell a child, "You are such a good boy," he may not be able to accept it because his own picture of himself is different.
  
• In contrast, when children are praised for their efforts, they become more persistent in difficult tasks.
  
• Desirable and Undesirable Praise
• Praise should deal only with children's efforts and accomplishments, not with their character or personality.
• Words of praise should mirror for the child a realistic picture of her accomplishments, not a distorted image of her personality.
• The child may think, they find me so great, they cannot be so smart.
• Learning the Process of Praise
• Has 2 parts: what we say to children and what they say to themselves
• description that details delight and admiration, words that convey recognition of effort, and statements that transmit respect and understanding.
• it's good to say, "you must be so proud" instead of, "i'm proud of you." because that way the child can develop inner pride.
• Helpful praise: Thank you for washing the car; it looks new again
• Possible inference: I did a good job. My work is appreciated.
• Unhelpful praise: You are an angel.
• Helpful praise: I liked your get-well card. It was so pretty and witty.
• Possible inference: I have good taste. I can rely on my choices.
• Unhelpful praise: You are "always" so considerate
• Helpful praise: Your poem spoke to my heart.
• Possible inference: I am glad I can write poems.
• Unhelpful praise: You are good poet for your age.
• Helpful praise: The bookcase that you built looks beautiful.
• Possible inference: I am capable.
• Unhelpful praise: You are such a good carpenter.
• ... etc.
• Providing Your Child with Guidance Rather Than Criticism
• In guidance we state the problem and a possible solution. We say nothing to the child about himself or herself.
• ex: spilled juice
• Mom, "I see the juice spilled. Let's get another glass of juice, and a sponge."
• Mom, "I was tempted to say, 'Next time be careful,' but when I saw how grateful she was for my benevolent silence, I said nothing."
• deal with the event, not the person
• When Things Go Wrong, Respond Rather Than React
• ex: a cup breaks
• "Cups break so easily. Who would have thought that such a small cup could maek such a big mess?"
• Minor mishaps can earn a child major values
• broken egg is different than a broken leg
• "So you lost yoru glove again. That is annoying. It's regrettable, but it is not a catastrophe. It's only a mishap."
• Abusive Adjectives Harm Our Children
• if we want our children to grow up feeling confident and self-assured, we need to take every opportunity to emphasize the positive and avoid demeaning comments.
• Congruent Communication: Have the Words Fit the Feelings
• We would like to believe that patience is a virtue. But is it? Not if it demands that we pretend to be calm when we feel agitated, that we not act the way we feel, that our behavior, instead of reflecting, hides our true feelings.
• Children need congruent responses.
• They want to hear words reflecting the parents' true feelings.
• Children also need to know that anger does not mean abandonment.
• Handling Our Own Anger
• It is important to have deliberate procedures that methodolically reduce tensions before tehy lead to explosions.
• Be aware of your anger and respect it.
• Anger is a source of information, indication that you care.
• Express anger without insulting.
• "I'm angry, I'm mad. I've bought you six baseball shirts and they're either mislaid or lost. Your shirts belong in your dresser. Then, when you need them, you'll know where to find them."
• describe what you feel, and what needs to be done in the future to avoid unpleasantness
• Anger should be expressed in a way that brings some relief to the parent, some insight to the child, and no harmful side effects to either of them.
• Three Steps to Survival
• 1. We accept the fact that we will sometimes get angry in dealing with children.
• 2. We are entitled to our anger without guilt or shame.
• 3. Except for one safeguard, we are entitled to express what we feel. We can express our angry feelings provided we do not attack the child's personality
• Sometimes the mere statement of our feelings (without explanation) stops the child from misbehaving.
• I feel angry
• I feel very angry
• I feel very, very angry
• I feel furious
• next step is to state the issue.
• parents need to express to their children safe ways of expressing anger.
• if a child asks repeated questions, and you are getting irritated, do not reply with direct answers, it will only encourage more questions.
• Responding to an Angry Child: The Method is the Message
• don't respond by reasoning, respond by emotional aid
  
• respond to upset feelings, rather than irritating behavior
• focus on diminishing the anger, and don't ask unhelpful questions
• bad questions: "who started it?"
• "why didn't you just.."
• "couldn't you have.."
• An empathic response that mirrors to children their upset feelings and expresses the parents' sympathy and understanding is effective in changing children's angry moods.
• getting angry need not alter one's loving feelings for oneself or others
• whenever possible enhance your child's self-worth
• Words Have the Power to Build and Energize or to Frighten and Devastate
• notice and appreciate efforts
• evaluation causes anxiety and resistance
• with problems, look for solutions, don't blame or criticize.. even in anger
• have respect and mercy
  

(al-Hamdu liLlah, I'm going to stop posting my notes... but I strongly feel this is an important book for anyone who has or is working with children)

-smiles-

al-hamdu liLlah for projects that keep us busy, without them, we'd probably be very bored. -smiles-

wa `alaykum al salam

i'm well, al-Hamdu liLlah. -smiles-


Today:

al-Hamdu liLlah, the hospital visit got postponed until Thursday or Friday, khayr things happen for a reason. I talked to my friend, and I think I found the reason, now we can invite more people to volunteer and we're going to bring books and read to the children. The more people the more bonding and one on one connection we can have with those children, al-Hamdu liLlah... Allah Karim.

So for today, in sha' Allah I am going to have the sister of my heart, Angie, over. Also, Reem should be stopping by later. HM recommended a movie called Les Miserables, so in sha' Allah we're going to watch that over a cup of shay. -smiles- Mmm, shay, no coffee though. lqtm.

Also, I might go run some last minute errands with Reem. By the way, Reem talked to my mom yesterday... and my mom wants to continue talking to her. -smiles- al-Hamdu liLlah, they may talk to each other today, in sha' Allah. Allahu Musta`an. -smiles-

Afterwards, I want to finish this book!!! Ya Allah, it has codes of communication, goes into the power of words... so exciting! in sha' Allah I'll finish this book fast, I'm so excited about it. al-Hamdu liLlah.

Oh My Allah... I need this book!!!

Honestly, being a first grade teacher is like being a parent. These children all have different personalities, and in truth, I am missing some skills I need to deal with them. How do I know this? Why else do I feel frustrated at times? Why else do I feel annoyed of myself, that I'm not doing something right?

So... yay! A solution!!!

Reem, a very dear friend of mine gave me a book for `id called Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim G. Ginott. I better finish this book before I start teaching again on Monday!!! I've just read the beginning of this book, and already I feel ease, I feel like I have some tools to help me understand what these children want, and how to effectively deal with them. Yes! A book of tools to use, a book of keys to open up the locks we have with each other, a book that shows me where the go buttons are on the children!!! al-Hamdu liLlah, wa Allahu Akbar!!!

I strongly believe that parenting is a skill that really needs to be studied, that really needs preperation. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to teach this year, it has allowed me the very important experience of dealing with children on a daily basis. I feel that I spend more time with those children than their parents. Think about it, from 8 am until 3:20 pm, that's 7 hours not counting the time I spend afterschool with some students. I mean, how long are parents standing in front of the child's face talking to him or her? I would imagine about a few hours in a day. So what I say, and what I do, will have a huge impact on their personality.

Every single word that we say to a child has a consequence! Lqtm, this reminds me of Newton, "for every action there is a equal or opposite reaction." This is so true! Every single, single, single thing we do has a reaction... teaching is a HUGE trust! It's an amanah that must be taken very seriously because the consequences, especially at such a young age for these children where I believe all their feelings and intellectual abilities are hightened, .. the consequences can be either negative or positive, all because of my role in front of them. ya Allah, ar-RaHman, this is why at times I very deeply hate my job, because of this trust I have, it's a huge, incredibly huge amanah, it's very important that these children have a teacher that will ... that will... understand them. I am going to do everything I can to the best teacher imaginable, ya Rab, at least I have the intention, I know I have the drive, but now it's about working on my personality, becoming that person I want to be.

al-Hamdu liLlah, I'm getting there. I'm really excited about finishing this book, and I am going to be taken notes on it this weekend! Hmm.. maybe I'll post my notes. I think, I definitely should, in sha' Allah.

Yes, I was wondering.

subHan Allah, I was about to call just right now until I saw that note. al-Hamdu liLlah.

Thanks for the update.

lqtm

-smiles- who wouldn't want a child that puts lemons on his eyes? -smiles- don't answer that. -smiles-

Random thought:

al-Hamdu liLlah, off to dream world I go. Take care. in sha' Allah.

la illaha illa Allah.

-smiles-

-smiles-

you know how carrots are good for your eyes... well, they kind of look like our eyes... no? -chuckles-



plus some funny videos..




here's my favorite:



people are so ... lqtm.. i dunno, i laughed.

anytime... if you're up one more is coming

-smiles-

funny

roll on deodorant eyes:

-smiles-

-smiles- al-Hamdu lillah for good news.

barak Allahu fikum.