Married ~ al-hamdu lillah

al-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu,

I didn't realize people read my posts. In sha' Allah from time to time I'll post something new up.

For now, I feel it is fitting to have some type of an update.

I'm married al-hamdu lillah, Islamically that is. I haven't had the reception yet, but al-hamdu lillah I did get my katb il-kitab done.

It was amazing how it all worked out actually.

From January to April I felt I hit a hard low in my life, but it also was a great high. Although during that time I broke up with my fiance, got in a car accident, hit my eye, got chronic bronchitis, had my car broken into, and had to expell a student in my class, etc. .. I also got closer to Allah, closer to my family, finished reading a great book Don't Be Sad. I was turning to Allah with all my heart sincerely. I then began to focus more on my state of Iman than anything else. I just wanted Allah to forgive me for the trouble I caused my family more than anything else, nothing I did was worse than that. I felt deep regret, and a deep wanting to be close to them, and most of all to Allah. I cried with du`a' on my lips each night. I made sure to pray Tahajjud, I made sure to do all the things I possibly could to draw myself nearer to Allah.

Then, even though I felt life's situations toughening up on me, I learned and memorized more du`a' and then, come April everything switched around. Subhan Allah, imagine I only had to go through 3 months of hardship, and Allah who is the Most Merciful, had Mercy on me and I have never felt such happiness or ease. -smiles- Subhanahu wa bihamdihi, subhan Allahil `adheem.

It's all naseeb, Allah made it easy. This is all by Allah, and He guided my parents to be different this time around, they were so easy on me.

I don't blame the last brother for anything. I mean, khalas, what happened happened, he's a good guy, but it wasn't naseeb. It simply wasn't. Besides, my parents had harsher conditions, and they gave him a hard time. Things happen for a reason, I needed to learn the lessons I did after the break up.

Anyway, as far as the new brother is concerned, barak Allahu fi. I know he's the right one for me, my Iman is rising higher than it ever did. I can feel it increasing, and being firm. This makes me happy.

The last brother is a great brother no doubt, and in sha' Allah he will marry a great sister deserving of him. As for how they compare, they don't. They are both different people, they both have qualities which are uniquely their's. They're both good, but different and uniquely themselves.

al-hamdu lillah, things worked out the way Allah had planned. Allah is al-Kareem, He is al-Rahman, al-Rahim. Al-hamdu lillah `ala kulli hal, wa hasbun Allah wa ni`m al-Wakil.

Great du`a': La illaha illa ant, subhanaka, inni kuntu min al-dhalimin (this is a du`a' that I learned that I had said often)

Truly, after difficulty, comes ease.

My Happy Song

Big Girls Don't Cry

subhan Allah, today at work there was a child who came in crying. I asked her, "what is making you so sad?" This question prompted more tears, and the little girl explained that her sister had hurt her feelings. I then told her, "I know you feel hurt right now, but you're a big girl, and big girls are strong, and they don't cry." I saw her getting stronger. I then repeated, "big girls don't cry, and you're a big girl right?" She nodded. I then smiled at her, held up my hand, and told her, "give me a high five for being a strong big girl!" She then gave me a five with a huge smile on her face.

I'm a big girl, so I need to learn how not to cry as well. subhan Allah.

Muslim Mother Goose! -smiles-

Someone gave me an idea of doing something similar to a Muslim Mother Goose... interesting.

Let's see. If I did something like that, it would go something like this:


Abdullah got up one night,
he wanted a cookie to bite,

ran down the stairs,
jumped on the chairs,
and into the kitchen in flight,

couldn't find a cookie to bite,

he looked up and down,
and all around,
and his stomach growled, "all right!"

he fell on his knees,
and begged Allah, "Pleeeeeeeease!!!
Give me a cookie tonight."

his mom heard a ruckus that night,
so she turned on the light,

she brought him cookie,
and read him a bookie,
and kissed his nose goodnight.

Life Moves On

al-hamdu lillah,

We had planned to get married this weekend, but al-hamdu lillah it didn't work out.

It's hard to let go of someone that seems perfect for you, but the truth is, Allah is the best of planners and indeed things don't work out for a reason.

I'm back in the whole single circle, and friends are calling me telling me about one guy and then another, but the problem is that they're mostly from other ethnicities.

I'm Palestinian, so my family would not accept anyone who was from anywhere else. May Allah guide them. Amin.

In ways, I understand them, for instance, birds of a feather do flock together and we get along a lot easier with people who understand us. Culture does play some role in marriage, how things are done, what happens next.. etc. So I can see how it might be easier, but we are living in America now, there's a new culture here.

I just figure if they want me to marry a Palestinian so badly, then why didn't they just stay in Palestine? -smiles- But it's no big deal really.

subhan Allah, I'm not stressing out about marriage. I figure if Allah wants for me to get married, it will happen, and it will happen easily. However, if it is not decreed for me, then it's not decreed, and one should be okay with that and live their life in preperation for the akhira.

al-hamdu lillah, life is such a beautiful trial and mercy. The successful are indeed the one's who know that it is Allah's pleasure that we seek, and don't do anything that would cause his anger. Or at least try not to.

al-hamdu lillah.

So now what? Well, life moves on.

I'm going to live my life without the thought of marriage in my mind. This whole topic is one that causes way more stress than is needed, as hard as it may be, I need to focus my heart and my mental energy elsewhere.

Allah Kareem. -smiles-

No Longer Engaged

al-hamdu lillah, there was no nasib.

He was an amazing brother, but the situation around us, and Allah's Mercy allowed for a break up. al-hamdu lillah. I wish him and his family hassanah in this life and in the next.

Allah is kind. Allah is al-Wadud.

heart... it sooths