WAAAAY TOO FUNNY!!! Chuck Norris

Okay, so my brother was on my computer reading some page online, and he's sitting there laughing. subHan Allah, I went down stairs, but then later I thought, man, that's my brother let me go spend time with him. So, I went back upstairs and I asked him about what was so funny... -smiles- I'm sooooooooooooooooooo glad I did that!!!

Okay so here's some of the stuff he was reading from the Chuck Norris site. My brother says some of the jokes on there are bad, so don't say I didn't warn you.

By the way, I'm letting my brother type which ones he likes... Here you go:

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Nrorris is worth 1 billion.

Chuck Norris's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

When Chuck Norris was denied and Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the restaurant so hard that it became a Wendy's.

It took Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Some people like to eat frog legs, CHuck Norris likes to eat snake legs.

They say that strong people eat nails for breakfast, in that case, Chuck Norris goes grocery shopping at Home Depot.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he knocks one pin down and the other 9 faint because of fear.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get Out of Jail Free card from Monopoly, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from UNO.

Chuck Norris knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDeigo.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris ate a whole bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.

How much wood would a woodchuck cchuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?... All of it.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child.

Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

When Chuck Norris falls into a pool of water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

-smiles-