children... love... care

There has been a child that has been troubling me, his actions are clearly wrong... and today, he repeated something I had scorned him for the other day.

And when he did it, only this time it was something that belonged to me, I stared at him silent. I didn't look mad at him, or happy, I just stared... just trying to figure him out, I guess. Then he stood still staring back at me, and we just let time pass both of us staring. I was so harsh to him the other day, so I let my head down, kind of in shame of myself. I looked up, with my arms open and I said, "why don't you come here."

He walked near me, I said, "come sit here next to me." He came and sat, then he put his head in my lap and started to cry. I stroked his head, and rubbed his back. Then after he had calmed down a bit, he complained to me about every little problem and trouble he had. Everything that people tell him, and how he thinks about it. Akh.................... how I hate myself sometimes. Why am I adding to his hardships? -sigh-

The bell rang for it to be Arabic time for him. I decided I would take him out of his Arabic class and during my prep period I gave myself fully to him in my attention and concern, and we read a story together. Then he gathered himself together and said, "I'm going to go to Arabic now." I told him, "sure." So he left.

-sigh- .... ya Allah, ya Rabb.

Then in class, he said, "I'm your tiger friend!!!" He was a lot happier today than yesterday. Just about every child in my class has a nickname from me, and he is definitely my tiger friend. al-hamdu lillah.

I liked spending that time with him. I liked having him next to me, just to sit and let him cry. Then to read with him alone, it's nice, it's personal, it's meaningful. subhan Allah.

Children... they are... children. Ya Rabb.

I love how they love me. During recess their little hands tug on my hijab... one child put his little hand in my scarf pinched a little bit of my hair and pulled it out.. lqtm... that was the funniest thing ever. Just to be funny, I went and did it to a teacher. hahah.. it's just funny. The shock, the horror. Khayr, if there's no men around it's all in good fun, al-hamdu lillah.

-smiles-

I was doing the talent show after school and one of my students grabbed my head and kissed my cheek, and I couldn't get her off of me!!! As much as I wanted her off, because subhan Allah, it was time for her to go home, she wouldn't let go. -smiles- lqtm, you just can't get mad at things like that.

This girl almost every single time she walks into the classroom she comes with a new emotion and a new thing to say. For example, "I'm so sad teacher, I'm just so sad, teacher I'm so sad."
Why?... and dramatically said, "oh teacher! there's only 34 days left of school teacher."... -sad face- subhan Allah, that girl depressed me.

But I get my deepest joys from her witty remarks and questions. She asked me one day, "Teacher, did you ever lay a baby?"... lqtm, I never thought of it that way... hahahah! She took a story we read about chickens and applied it to humans.. haha. She's so clever.

I love them... subhan Allah.