weddings

subHan Allah, when I got to the wedding I realized which family it was...i've been to their weddings before, ya Rabbi, such expensive weddings... why? somebody tell me why? ya Rabbi.

When they brought out belly dancers I left the room, why? why? why? why do they need to have belly dancers? I don't get it? I got so disgusted when I saw the men get up and stare, that was disgusting! How can they see that and not even care to lower their gaze??? May Allah guide them.

They had a debkah show, that I stayed for, I loved watching the sword dance that was awesome! -smiles- Okay, so that wasn't too bad. Also, they had little gift bags to give everyone and each one had a metalic seal on it that said masha' Allah, and some even had quotes from the Qur'an about marriage... I liked that, that was awesome! Doesn't mix well with the belly dancers, but khayr, it was nice.

While there my dad's cousin said, "when you get married I'm going to make sure everyone from your family flies out to attend your wedding!"then he banged his hand on the table. I smiled and said, "in sha' Allah." In my head I'm thinking, don't expect some huge wedding like this one though, I won't stand for it, there's no way. ya Rabbi, have mercy on me and don't give me one of these fancy weddings... my heart tightens, subHan Allah it's a real physical feeling, I get annoyed.

Oh here's another part I loved, there were children behind me playing with balloon swords. -smiles- I enjoyed watching them. Lot's of babies were staring at me. Like, almost everywhere I turned there was a baby staring, one looked at me and started smiling. Then a little child I guess thought i was his mom or something came up to me asked me something, but then when i turned my face to him he was shocked, I assumed he figured i must have been someone else... so he walked away, but then turned back to talk to me more. So I thought, good, I didn't scare him off. I love children, ya Rabbi, I love them.

I was looking at the bride and groom, and I was thinking, it's such a ni`mah to get married, it really is, may Allah bless them. I also thought, it's even a greater ni`mah to have someone that shares your same values, that you can trust, that is patient,... that is a greater ni`mah. Allah knows what's best, khayr... khayr, that's all that there is when someone trusts in Allah "completely." Whatever will be will be, I don't want to think I'm controlling my life anymore, I will make du`a', I will put in the effort, but I will not worry, I'm trusting Allah.

I'm going to wait, and I am going to trust Allah, and Allah is with the patient.