wow, life.

subHan Allah, I'm tired of my life, but I love it.

Teaching is absolutely amazing! The children are absolutely amazing! The staff is absolutely amazing! ... -smiles- ... but I get so absolutely tired and exhausted from it all! Yee. [subHan Allah, I love saying "yee"]

al-Hamdu liLlah, that's my life, I love the things that drain out my energy.

Today I got home around 5:30 PM, I spent a couple of hours creating my centers for my class, I want so desperately to make those children excited about learning. in sha' Allah they will never stop loving to learn.

Today I got a gift from the parents of one of my students, it was a box of sweets, "mmm" -smiles- al-Hamdu liLlah.

Open House is on Friday, I need to get ready for that. I already know half of the parents, it will be nice to spend time with the other half, in sha' Allah.

Let me see, let me see, so al-Hamdu liLlah today while in my class arranging things, the cleaning lady came in and she told me, "Your students are going to be very smart." in sha' Allah, I hope they do benefit from it, but I want to make the autmosphere one in which all the learning resources they need are readily available, and that there are lots of ways for them to develop their thinking skills. Khayr, please make du`a' for me, I want everything I do for those children to be beneficial for them, and I want my intention to always be that I'm doing it for Allah, please whoever reads this, I would love for that du`a'.

These past couple of weeks I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster ride. One moment I'm really upset, another I'm sad, another I'm happy, and then another incredibly exhausted... and on some days, all of them intertwined, yee. -smiles- al-Hamdu liLlah, that's just life.

al-Hamdu liLlah they brought in a teacher's aid for me, it's soooooo much easier that way. She graded papers for me, made photo copies, helped out the students I always keep eyeing that need help... it's awesome! I thought about how much of a burden she had taken off of my shoulders... and I thought about how that is similar to parenting, subHan Allah for any parent who raised up children by themself they deserve a high high honor. Seriously when you get help, it makes life move along a lot more smoothly.

Children are such a heavy responsiblity, and all the work that teachers do, subHan Allah it wears down the body. I haven't been eating that well, sleeping that well... I lost almost 10 pounds, I'm just drained. al-Hamdu liLlah, now that the teachers aid is there I can get myself back to normal, in sha' Allah.

al-Hamdu liLlah for everything.

~

Aside from the teaching stuff, I got really annoyed not so long ago about someone going through mail and reading it, subHan Allah. It made me so upset, and right when I found out I asked repeatedly that Allah forgive this person. Every time I felt anger enter, instantly again I would force myself to ask for forgiveness for this person, it was a way for me to cope with what they did. I just don't understand why people would do that to other people, I just don't. I tried venting online about how we should be more afraid of Allah, and there were some who read that post and called me crazy, subHan Allah but they didn't know how upset I was.. and how I was trying so hard to cope with that.

I was thinking to myself, I deserve this. I figured this may have happened because someone else had their mail opened and they got upset, and I remember telling that person, what are you so upset about? calm down... then it happened to me, and I was so upset, and I realized, I didn't understand why that person was upset until it happened to me. Khayr. We live and we learn, we really do.

I talked to HM and he made me look at what happened and gave it a positive twist, al-Hamdu liLlah. I'm not so hurt or upset anymore, but that really did annoy me.

Things happen for a reason, khayr.