Learning as the days pass...

I keep looking at that beautiful slide show above, it's so calming, al-Hamdu liLlah.

Tomorrow, this Summer program I work at will be over, Sunday School was done last week, all I have left is that one class I'm taking... sigh, free time.

Why am I sighing?

al-Hamdu liLlah, now maybe I can read more, in sha' Allah. I can memorize more Qur'an. I can maybe move things around my room, switch things up a bit.

I notice I do that a lot, I keep changing and editing things, all the time. It's a non-stop thing with me. I try to take what I have and make it better, and better. Hehe, this blog went through one of those, at one point all my trials drove me crazy and I wanted a layout that I could be comfortable with it. It looked like poop before it looked like this -smiles- but al-Hamdu liLlah, Allah has a way of giving ease after difficulty.... al-Hamdu liLlah, al-Hamdu liLlah.

I noticed my du`a' are being answered almost automatically with so many things in my life. I'm positive that for this one du`a' that I am making that there is a reason things are going the way that they are. Although, I don't know what this reason is, I can say what I have learned:

Patience

It is bittersweet, the reward for it is sweet and just thinking that Allah will accept this from me excites me. At the same time, it is true that it may not be accepted; however, Rabbi Rahimun Wadud, and I feel that it will be. I have learned to be calm about my situation, to be accepting, to read Qur'an when I feel frustrated, to pray tahajjud, to make lengthy du`a'... I have benefitted, this bonding time with Allah is sweet. It is bitter because there is pressure, it's a wanting for ease, for the difficulty to leave.

Culture

I learned that the culture in which one lives in influences the thought behavior in such horrible ways, that trying to change what has been engrained maybe as difficult as getting a camel to go into the head of a needle, unfortunately. It's a good thing that Allah IS greater than culture, that there exists on this earth an Islamic culture, and oh how it shines, it's like a white hair on a black bull.

Steadfastness

Is that even a word? -smiles- But yea, I'm learning how to hold on to something I want. Usually, I'm very passive, I'll let things go easily -- very easily. I've learned to be steadfast, well, I'm still learning -- al-Hamdu liLlah

al-Hamdu liLlah, this is a very bittersweet situation. The difficulty is very bitter, but al-Hamdu liLlah the goal is very sweet. Allah will make it easy, and may Allah accept our efforts, and be pleased with us. Amin

... right now I'm listening to the children practice their performance for Friday, subHan Allah, this program is almost over, ya Rabbi I'm going to miss seeing them so many days a week... tayyib, tayyib, al-Hamdu liLlah, always, al-Hamdu liLlah.